題目：Special Person
目前112班同學已經上傳兩次完畢，而想要分享得五分的好作文。
112 信宇 （兩次都得五分唷）
評語 Score 5: Skillful
（以下老師提供中譯，以後自己在看系統給的評語，就可以更加理解，協助修正自己的文章）- Develops ideas with some specific details. 不錯，有內容。
- Is clearly organized; information is presented in an orderly way, but essay may lack transitions. 組織很好，有系統，但是缺乏一些連接詞。
- Exhibits some variety in sentence structure. 善用不同的句子結構，有變化。
- Contains some specific word choices. 用字有變化，特別性。
- May contain some errors in grammar, spelling, capitalization, and punctuation; errors do not interfere with understanding. 雖然文法拼字等等有小錯，但不影響閱讀理解。
Essay:
A person in our life may influence us a lot or he/she can let our process of life be more meaningful.
The special person that impressive me a lot is my friend,Tim. He is a bit fat and he has a shave head.People who don't know him usually feel that he is difficult to get closer.In fact,Tim is an optimistic and considerate boy that always encourages me. In addition to his good personality,he has a literary talent that he is good at writing poems and essays.Anyone who have ever seen all said that Tim is a prodigy.
The thing that he impressive me so much is an incident that happened when I was in junior high school.My classmate,John,who was my good friend at that time,transferred to another school without telling me.I was very angry and he didn't say anything to me after he left.
Then, I told Tim this matter.He consoled me that John must have his ineffable difficulties.He told me a fable about a woodman and a wood pecker.
There was a woodman lived in a forest and cutting woods everyday.He has a good assistant-a wood pecker.One day,the wood pecker disappeared.The woodman was anxious and doubted why the wood pecker gone without saying.Then he worked alone after the day which the wood pecker gone.He became the best woodman in the forest and he could cut 100 woods per hour.
Tim explained,that the wood pecker might want to let the woodman know that a person must be independent.And Tim said that John may want me to know this principle.
I felt better after he encouraged me and we became intimate friends.We cannot only be the woodman and wood pecker but also the partner in our life.
[Sunny建議]
1. 文章結構很好，用字有變化。而且舉例特別且完整。
2. 請勿單句成段。在大考寫作，不佳。
3. 缺乏引言、導入，只有一句話，非常孤單，也不夠構成裡想的introduction。(系統在第二版的評語也點出來了）
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112 亭村 （由四分進步到五分唷）
評語 Score 5: Skillful （亭村的進步也很棒，改進了許多原先第一版的錯誤。而下方老師也借用系統給的數據評語，教大家怎麼看）
Trait Feedback Analysis
Grammar:
2 errors
1
Run-on Sentences
1
Subject-Verb Agreement
Usage:
3 errors
2
Missing or Extra Article
1
Preposition Error
Mechanics:
1 error
1
Compound Words
Style:
29 comments
29
Repetition of Words
- 上述是亭村最後的總結評語，在"Performance Summary Report" 裡可以找到，或者"comments" ，而每一項目你都可以在點進去看，自己被指出來的缺失在哪裡，系統會用顏色區塊標明的很清楚。
- 以Grammar （文法）為例，亭村就還有兩個地方可以改得更好。
1. Run-on Sentences (流水句，意旨句子當中沒有連接詞，或沒有斷句）
2. Subject-Verb Agreement (主動詞一致，可能是你動詞三單沒有加s之類的）
- 上述的那些英文評語，例如Style, Mechanics，以及後方的文字(ex: Compound words) 都可以在使用手冊的ｐ23-27 有詳細的中文翻譯可查閱，不然問我也可以。
Essay:
There were many times when I was trapped in difficult troubles,and I was upset to the point of crazing. Nevertheless, one thing always made me up and continue to me works.It relates to my mother.My mother is the person who influences me a lot.She isn't conspicuous,and she just look like a normal mother.My mom has a short hair,wearing glasses,a little wrinkles on her face,and some times chatters about everything.So,why does this common person influences me so much,and what she has influenced me the most?I think that her scientific attitude is the answer.
My mom once said that when she was a child, her ambition was to become a scientist.My mom loves to perform experiments,to learn everything new,and to explore the unknown field.Many years passed by, she has grown up and become a mother of two children instead of becoming a scientist.However,she still likes to learn scientific knowledge and bring her scientific attitude in cooking, baking, house cleaning, and health. There are always new ideas in her mind. After she searches enough information, she will try to do by herself.For example, my mom has been crazed about baking these past few months. At first, it was just because of the love for radish bread make her surf the net to search for the recipe. She practiced many times and developed her own way of baking.That is Mom,who never giving up easily,and always being interested in everything. The most important of all,Mom always can develop her own way of doing things.
My mom has taught me a lot since I was young,and I have learned from her a lot as well.But I think the most influential thing is this,using the scientific attitude in the everyday life, not only in science class.I admire her scientific attitude ,and I hope I could learn from her of the attitude.
[Sunny建議]
1. 系統也建議到，你的文章第一段，可能寫得可以更精簡，或者更開門見山點。因為文章的第一段introduction, 目的是要引起讀者興趣，以及說明你的主旨，可以在看看，改一下，說不定就往六分前進了。
2. 文章用字的重複性偏高。請用系統評語的"Style --> Repetition" 裡面查閱自己的重複字式哪些被標明出來。
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事實上，112 第二篇文章得五分的同學不少，以下都是好文呢！下次繼續努力囉。
Chen, Sin-yu
Huang, Yu-Sang
Huang, Yun-ching
Lin, Chia-jung
Ou, Ting-tsan
Tsao, Wei-li
Wang, Te-yuan
111 班的同學也在今天4/8 完成了二傳。也分享幾位五分的好作文。
111 子家 （由三分進步到五分唷）
Essay:
Everyone may have one person who influences you a lot in your life, and he/she may be possible to be your special person. I have one,Howard, who is the most important and special person in my life.
We have met each other on the beautiful spring when we were junior high school students. At first glance, Howard didn't make me impressed a lot. Instead, I thought him as a strange person.
As time went by, we became from acquaintance into dear friends. When we came to his appearance, I usually laughed at him. Because he has a very big head, it made him top-heavy. Without the funny big head, he has a good shape and enviable height that many people want it. But for me, I prefer to like he’s hair because it was smooth and makes people comfortable.
Howard is not only my friend but also my compass and in my life. For example, as I made a big mistake and didn't know how to solve the situation, contrary to angry with me, he just told me how I could do next. In addition to this, sometimes, when I was in a bad mood, he always gave me a big smile first. And after that, he was standing by myself and telling me a funny joke until I smiled. In my mind, the memories that we made together cause him important; the time that we stay each other make him essential; the sorrows and happiness that we share procure him unique. These all lead him to be my special person.
Therefore,it goes without saying that I'm sure Howard will be my special person forever.
[Sunny建議]
1. 子家很不錯，第二次改進讓自己的文章從3分進步到5分唷。
2. 文章的優點在於他的「發展句development」寫得充實而完整。第二段說明朋友的外表與特色。第三段說明他的個性與優點如何影響你。因此，文章的內容支撐，很足夠。
3. 但缺點在於introduction & conclusion 都太短了，若增長導入前言，以及增加結論感想，會更加完整。
111 同學得到五分的好作文，也不少人唷：
Chen, Li-Ying
Chen, Yi-Wen
Huang, Pei-Yu
Huang, Tze-Chia
Huang, Yi-Hsuan
Liao, Yu-Jie
Lu, Yu-Chiao
Peng, Chin-Ching
Sun, Jo-Hwa
Yang, Chao-Lan
我們一起向六分前進吧～！！
ps: 那些遲交的同學，你的分數會被打八折。請務必趕快再最後截止日期前繳交。(A Special Person 第二版)
Deadline: 4/15 24:00
111 班的同學也在今天4/8 完成了二傳。也分享幾位五分的好作文。Everyone may have one person who influences you a lot in your life, and he/she may be possible to be your special person. I have one,Howard, who is the most important and special person in my life.We have met each other on the beautiful spring when we were junior high school students. At first glance, Howard didn't make me impressed a lot. Instead, I thought him as a strange person. As time went by, we became from acquaintance into dear friends. When we came to his appearance, I usually laughed at him. Because he has a very big head, it made him top-heavy. Without the funny big head, he has a good shape and enviable height that many people want it. But for me, I prefer to like he’s hair because it was smooth and makes people comfortable. Howard is not only my friend but also my compass and in my life. For example, as I made a big mistake and didn't know how to solve the situation, contrary to angry with me, he just told me how I could do next. In addition to this, sometimes, when I was in a bad mood, he always gave me a big smile first. And after that, he was standing by myself and telling me a funny joke until I smiled. In my mind, the memories that we made together cause him important; the time that we stay each other make him essential; the sorrows and happiness that we share procure him unique. These all lead him to be my special person. Therefore,it goes without saying that I'm sure Howard will be my special person forever.111 班的同學也在今天4/8 完成了二傳。也分享幾位五分的好作文。Everyone may have one person who influences you a lot in your life, and he/she may be possible to be your special person. I have one,Howard, who is the most important and special person in my life.We have met each other on the beautiful spring when we were junior high school students. At first glance, Howard didn't make me impressed a lot. Instead, I thought him as a strange person. As time went by, we became from acquaintance into dear friends. When we came to his appearance, I usually laughed at him. Because he has a very big head, it made him top-heavy. Without the funny big head, he has a good shape and enviable height that many people want it. But for me, I prefer to like he’s hair because it was smooth and makes people comfortable. Howard is not only my friend but also my compass and in my life. For example, as I made a big mistake and didn't know how to solve the situation, contrary to angry with me, he just told me how I could do next. In addition to this, sometimes, when I was in a bad mood, he always gave me a big smile first. And after that, he was standing by myself and telling me a funny joke until I smiled. In my mind, the memories that we made together cause him important; the time that we stay each other make him essential; the sorrows and happiness that we share procure him unique. These all lead him to be my special person. Therefore,it goes without saying that I'm sure Howard will be my special person forever.
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