吳詩綺老師的教學部落格

Dear all, 恭喜這次112 曹惟理寫 A Special Person 第二版得了六分的高分唷

以下好文給大家一起欣賞吧

[評分 ]Score 6:  Excellent

• Develops ideas well and uses many specific details related to the topic. 概念發展好, 有足夠內文支撐主題
• Is well organized with clear transitions; maintains focus. 清楚的轉折詞, 有焦點
• Sustains varied sentence structure. 句子有不同變化
• Exhibits specific word choices. 選字也有不同變化
• Contains little or no errors in grammar, spelling, capitalization, and punctuation; errors do not interfere with understanding. 雖然文法或者用與偶而有小錯, 但不影響整篇文章理解

Everyone would meet at least dozens of special people in their lives. It is hard to tell which of them is the most special. But it would be much easier to tell who the one impressive us or affect us the most. Here I'll tell about the one who have been affecting me the most. Although he may not be any special for the world, he is the most special person for me so far and forever for sure.

He has dissimilar appearances during different life stages. If people saw him when he was in elementary or junior high school, the world-famous cat--- Garfield would come to his or her mind. He had been exactly like that with his chubby figure and lethargy attitude. If you saw him at high school, he would be in black-frame glasses. He has been so normal except for his clothes which always seem too large for him. It was resulted from his laziness, which made him keep wearing his old clothes that he used to wear. 

It is hard to tell his personality because no one can really describe him so far. He acts differently every time I see him. But there is something we can know for sure. Although he looks nothing different as other people on earth just as I had told, everyone who knows him would warn you seriously: Never judge a book with its cover! It is my pleasure to tell all of you about these. He started practicing speech when he was in first grade. That made him always speak in a special way although he was mean to do that. He also likes debate. He often told others that parties are the best place for thinking. We are not talking about a noble party. I’m talking about some noisy dancing parties! Even chatting would be mission impossible for others in that kind of occasional. In these two points I believe everyone can tell how strange a person he is.

I’m sure you are all curious about who the weird person is. He is---William, myself. In my advice, men themselves would always be the most special person in their own lives. Because the only one who can accompany us from born to death, and to decide all the things at the important moments for us in our life, is ourselves. 
 
[Sunny 評語]
1.  引言與前情提要(introduction)充分，所以不會覺得一下子就進入主題。
2. 第二段與第三段的發展句完整，提供足夠的例證支撐。
3. 結尾出現驚喜, 最後才講出來特別的人是"自己"。另外也有結論句，將自己的理由說明完全。